Monday, May 18

for posterity

It began for him long before it began for me; of course I didn’t know this until later. He used to notice me across the cafeteria and across campus. He told me that he thought I looked like a doll. He was in a relationship, I was in a relationship. Last summer both relationships ended; making all of this possible (fate? destiny? luck?). I first noticed him at a party. We spoke briefly and for both of us the conversation is blurry. For weeks after I wondered if he thought about me. Eons later, or so it seems though it could only have been a few weeks, there was contact: a text, a message, a surprise run-in at my job. He kept asking me to watch a movie, grab a drink, or to do a myriad of things with him. I was scared. I said no. Again. And again.
One day I couldn’t say no anymore, and I really didn’t want to write my paper (due the next morning). He came over to chat for ‘just five minutes’ at midnight. He left at two. The conversation was not fairy-tale perfect it was nerve-racking! There were awkward pauses and misunderstandings; still, for two hours we talked. The next day (after rushing through my paper) we had lunch. That night we finally watched a move and had a drink (or seven). The next day there was lunch, and more movies, and more drinking, and more talking. For a week we were inseparable, except for our pesky finals.
Then there was winter break. He told me he would call and he invited me to come visit and swore he’d come visit me. But, while I hoped it was true, part of me doubted and figured we were over. We weren’t over. He called. I visited. He visited. We weren’t over we were just beginning; even now we’re still just beginning.
We haven’t been together a long time yet. But I’ve done relationships before and I know this one is good. I talk to him and I’m always honest and he is always honest with me. I can trust myself to lean on him because I know that he can, and will, support me. Plus, when we kiss me knees go weak and sometimes I can’t stand on my own. Love is us.

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Sarah Yvonne